Time Game

This is nothing more than a game for you isn't it?
Hah! We'll I hope you're having fun.
Keep playing, I think you may be winning,
No, that's not the timer accelerating,
there never was a timer, silly.
That's my heart.
Hear it?
It's getting faster and faster so fast.
Can you hear it?
It's all I can hear.

Stop.

Slow Explosion

I think my heart will explode,
millions of pieces,
it'll be like fireworks,
everyone will sit back and watch it burst into flame,
and along with it me,
it'll be a beautiful thing,
a heck of a beautiful thing.

If this doesn't scare you it's surely scared me...

We see you're growing thinner
the bones of your face are clear and visible now
we see your skull
if only we could see that thing under it
we want to help
let us help


i see you getting closer
get away
you won't help
give up.

I can't wait for Agape 2010

Paper Route
Family Force 5
Sanctus Real
This Beautiful Republic

Love Regaurdless

I love people. I try to love them in simple ways like not cutting in the lunch line regaurdless of how hungry I am and how many of my friends are telling me to and opening car doors. I want them to know that I love them and respect them just because. Because I don't need a reason I just want to radiate love. Because I think everyone needs it.

Seeing people light up makes me happy. Watching people do things they are passionate about makes me want to cry. Knowing people are doing things for other people warms my heart. There is nothing more beautiful than a passionate person.

Tonight I was in a room filled with them. We played for the residence at Robing's Manner and their families. Watching the mouths of the elderly people there move along in sync with the chorus's made me feel good. Using your talents to make other people shine is a beautiful thing.

I saw a girl from school who worked there. I felt sorry for her, like her job was really demanding. I know she always sleeps in class and I finally understand why. It looked tiring to me. She only brought a few people out into the room we were playing in and then she left. I wanted to say hi to her and talk to her, but I think she may have been embarssed? Being seen working and in scrubs? I wanted her to know I didn't care and that I thought what she was doing was great. Even if she is getting payed for it I know her job is tiring and I know that she does it to the best of her ability.

I want to be part of something much bigger than I am.
I want people to know I love them, regaurless of anything and everything.

I have hope in humanity.

12/07/09 First Snow

I cannot

work at school. I cannot work at home. I cannot work.

Gold

You're a million shades of Gold.
I want you.

I'm not

afraid of anything things are how they have to be.

We're all insane...

When you start to accept this is when they really think you are insane, but it's true and you are right.
You're just a bigger person for admitting it and accepting it.
So good job.

I am

terrified of you.
Is that love?

Hey look

you've dont it again.
you've lost everyone.
you're alone.

Maybe this time they left you,
rahter than you leaving them but that doesn't really matter
You're still alone.

I hope it hurts.
It's should hurt you did it all wrong.

All you have is yourself.
How do you feel about youself?

Eh. Right.

Wipe him off you lips he's still on your lips.

Cry alone into your knees.

I want that okay.

I want someone to tell me i'm okay.
Maybe if someone else tells me i'll believe them.

What is okay?

Do you want that?

Do you want that if it'll hurt you?
Do I want this if it'll hurt me?
I dont know. I don't know.
I don't know anything.

I can't sleep I'm not working!

this is deep this is deeep.

EMPTY!

Hello Hello,
I am empty.
Fill me I dont care what you are or if you arent the right substance just fill me make me feel good for awhile. i swear all i need is awhile.
I want more but i need now so just do it.
hopefully i'll find the right stuff some other time when i'm empty but i cant have it now just fill me!

You are under my skin

You are under my skin you are under my skin I dont want to look at your face and cry you arent him you arent them!

This is my fifth post today

I feel good about this I feel really good about this. So maybe it won't work. Maybe I just want it to work, but I know I feel really good about it. I don't know how you feel. I don't know what will work and what won't. Only that I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS. It's killing me and keeping me interested.

I'd bleed for you I'd bleed for you. Every drop thats in me. This is everything I am These are my insides. All for you!
What do you think?

Dear feeling,

Dear feeling that I've got it all figured out,
I hate you. You are always wrong. I have no wisedom at all. Only thoughts. I know nothing about the things around me I only know how I feel about them.

November 29, 1:08 AM

" I want to be a good chunk of your life for a while. "

This is not you.

This is not you.
This is not you.

Your worried. You're fighting. You're trying too hard.
Just sit back, please. I'm tired of watching you dance around me.

You have my attention you've always had my attention.

You're fighting not loving
and you're a lover not a fighter

I've always been here for you
I'll always be right here for you.

I don't expect you to understand
I can't expect you to understand.
You can't understand.

I want you to see, but you're blind.
Open your eyes, open your eyes for me.

I'm waiting.
waiting.

This day

It is beautiful out right now. It's amazing how the sky can be gray and still breath taking. It's getting colder and I'm actually excited about that for once? I'm happy with the life I am living. I think I am doing well.

Thanksgiving has come and passed. I remember thinking I usually feel pretty thankful so the holiday seems mostly just a reason to eat. I have a lot going for me. I was thankful that I had a nice home and food and water because other people don't. I was more concerned with the fact they don't have them then I was thankful that I had them. I want to help them.

I'm happy with the time I got off school it's drawing to and end. I spent a lot of it with Ben. I feel really close to him. He understands me so well. I spent even more of it with my family I think. We got our christmas tree and saw a movie one day. Another we ran a race and went christmas shopping.

I went to one of Alex's hockey games. I miss seeing him as much as I used to.
Megan invited Ben and I to a bonfire at her house. We sat out there making jokes and telling stories.

Good. This is good.

No body can

hate me like I hate me.

I'm totally a Christian!

but when people make all their status updates on facebook about God or Jesus it makes me want to be an athiest. If that makes sense. I guess they just annoy me and I think they push athiest to futher not believe God. Sometimes I feel like they do it for attention, or to make themselves seem rightous. Anyone else have this problem?

Donald Miller

I went to see one of my favorite authors two nights ago. It was terrific. He was funny and witty and Megan and I had a lot of fun. If you haven't read any of Don's stuff I highly encourage it.

He talked about his new book A Million Miles in A Thousand Years. Here is a sample from it:


http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/books/insidepublishing/TNelson/Don_Miller_AMMTY_Ch_2_3.pdf

I don't have a big vocabulary...

and my grammar is terrible, but I'm pretty sure that I do have a big heart and thats the only reason anything I've ever written has ever sounded remotely good.

I just search for good and beauty and passion when I can, any way that I can.







---------------------------

"I like being with you and talking to you. I feel like you stretch my mind and fill it with beautiful things... and that everythings more beautiful when you are around."

Car Dancing

One of the many reasons I love my friends...

Love songs

Love is a sadness.
Love is a madness.
We are the addicts.

What are we if we're not in love?
What are we if we're not in love?

----------

..I'm addicted.
I'm needy.
I'm lost.
Without You.

----------

Don't look ahead just run with me,
Each step will find the next one recklessly.
We'll find ourselves on the safest ledge.
Pardon me i couldnt help myself,
I'm falling into your life here i'm falling for awhile i'm here.

Recent

haha!

I'm hanging out with Megan.
Watching this gave us good ideas:





Like this!



Nerds <3

Not alone

All the ones I counted on left me and I was alone. I was crying in my room, on my floor, legs crossed, head down sobbing. It's been years since i've been there but I was there and he found me. I have hated him soo much for so long. He was a monster. He scared me. He hurt me. How did he know I was here again? He picked me up. He wiped my tears and kissed my head. I'm not alone, but I am guilty.

Love is strong.
so strong.

Distance

You're far from me and only getting further
I tried to hold on to you
Reaching as far as my arms would allow
But you looked at my outstreatched hand and back up at me and turned your head
Don't look back
You might find me
Don't look back
I might be a little lost now, it's getting cold
I thought you were walking with me
You lost me without noticing
So just don't look back.

We're standing on the brink of something big.

...and I'm not afraid.

"Whatever happens or doesn't happen I'm okay."

- Ben Pursley

Alex,

In realising I didn't love you in a romantic sense, I still learned I love you deeply in a differnt way and nothing can change that. You're one of my best friends and that won't change because I won't let it.

At Ease, This is Peace

Yesterday Megan and I developed the senior pictures we took for Maranda. I was beyond excited to develop them because the money that Maranda pays us I've been planning to save to get a new camera. I had found one that I had kind of wanted online for $599. That's quite a bit. A lot more than my parents spend on me for Christmas which is how I've gotten the rest of the expensive things I've wanted in the past. So we check out the digial cameras while we wait for the pictures to develop, and I find a Canon that I really fall in love with. I check the price and it's $815. Ouch? Alas, but I am in love. My want for the camera does not die. Don't get me wrong I tried to kill it, skimming through all the other less expensive cameras and examining. No such luck.

I arrive at school this morning just barely in time. I'm not a morning person. The first bell had already rung. I go to speech and Maranda has her pictures out. She hands them to people, to me, and lets us pick which ones we want. I picked the favotire I took of her and my favorite Megan took of her. Emily has her pictures too and starts talking about how expensive the photographer who did hers was. Tabby who is sitting next to Maranda over hears and says there's no way she'll be able to afford to go to that photographer, which is what she had planned to do. She then asked me if Megan and I could do her pictures. I was kind of shocked and spat out "Yeah!" I knew that meant more money. We just have taken Rudy's also, which is more money, and late Tabby says her boyfriend may want us to do his, that's a lot of money! Funny how things work out?

Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence... not in cases like this anyway. Not when things add up. Maybe I'm wrong, but I dont think so.

Today I got the pleasure of taking my best friends senior pictures. She's beautiful inside and out, her being my closest friend I know all about her beauty, and I got to capture it. I was a little worried though because I know she's an artist and I know that she is picky. Luckily she liked them! It was a great feeling not only to be able to capture her true beauty, but for her to notice it in something I've created. It's probably one of the best feelings I've ever had.

It starts to get dark and we decide we will quit for the day. We drive home listening to This Beautiful Republic. We both like them and we both were singing along. Our voices blended in to the voice coming from the speakers. Her pretty higer voice and my deeper voice harmonizing. We sang the songs. We meant the songs. We felt the songs. Our ride came to an end and she presented me with the first $40 from Maranda to save and sometime spend on my beloved Canon.

Stress

I'm go, go, go lately.

I can't wait to relax.

Soon.

I'm always studying, or looking into college things.

Post more about what's been going on in my life when I get the time.

I'm not satisfied in this lifetime

"I'm following you to the other side, theres nothing that can change my mind. You're all I need."

"Now I think it's time to write a better chaper in my life, leaving all these things that keep me wrapped so tight."

"Why are we obsessed with possesions here on earth? Go and take a look at the flowers and the birds."

"Won't you save me from who i've been lately, cause I can't see living without you."

Sanctus Real

'Cause I'm on the up and up

"I'm on the up and up and I havent given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of."

I have potential. I know I'm good at the things I like, and that I can go places with them.
I am not really sure what my future has in store, and that's always been scary to me but it's not anymore. Whatever I decide and whatever works out is going to happen. Theres no way I can ever really know what that is. I don't get to pick it. It'll pick me and grab me by the hand and pull me along. I just weigh the options presented to me and sit back and enjoy the ride.


There's a flame inside my chest. It's love. It's passion. It's real. I feel like my life has turned into something I want it to be. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm not afraid of showing people who that is anymore either. I don't need to be. My intentions are good. My failures are learning experiences. I've got friends and family backing me up and showering me in their love and I love them back with everything I am and everything that I do. It's not fake either. I'm not just nice to them because being nice is the "nice"or the "right" thing" to do. I just love them. I think they're beautiful and interesting. I don't hate. I appreciate everyone and rescpect every opinion they have, whether it differs from mine or not.

I took Megan to church last night and afterwords we sat in my car for an hour talking. (without the ac on! ) It got a bit hot and uncomfortble but our conversations are always worth it. We talk about anything and everything and we're both pretty much on the same page. When you put us togehter I think we're capable of great things.

You never know exactly...

what is going on in the minds of those around you. No matter how close you feel to them.

I thought Joe and I were doing great in my last post and we broke up within a matter of days after I posted it.

I'm not really over it, it kind of was out of the blue for me. Here's part of a conversation I copied that my best friend and I had last night:

Me: lol but eh i feel a little conflicted by thinking that because i know i shouldnt have to wait around but like i dont know fuck it or something because fairy tales aren't always as pretty in real life. and i dont have much else to do. so i'll just hide my false hope under the rug or something.
Megan: well of course you aren't going to have things figured out right away, and you will feel conflicted. I think it's normal. and yeah you will still have that hope that maybe things will be different, but in the end sometimes they aren't different. and then you will have waited for something that meant nothing. but really you didn't lose anything by it. it was just a season of your life, and remember "this too shall pass"
Me: yeah so its okay to have that silly little hope deep down inside me? lol
Megan: uh yes. lol
Megan: i've been holding on to a lyric for a while, "I'm still carrying a little hope, that maybe, things could be different now. Is that so wrong?"
Me: who is it?
Megan: jimmy eat world.
Me: i see. yeah. i mean i cant get around it. but i feel bad about it. eh and maybe thats love. like real love and maybe real love isnt always your soul mate or who you are supposed to be with or whatever.
Megan: real love doesn't have to be with your soul mate. atleast I don't think it does.
Megan: I think real love is for anyone.
Me: well i always want to think love last forever and that makes me think you can only have one but maybe you can love more than one forever and if i cant have him the way i want him i love him regaurdless no matter how much it hurts

What's meant to be will find it's way.

... whatever that is.

Senior Year

I am a senior, finally. I have been for 3 weeks, and it's already turning out to be a good year. Here is a picture of me on the first day that I've been meaning to post:

I think I'm going to do a lot of documenting this year with my camera. I've been taking at least one photo every day for most of the year, It was going to be for a photo calendar we planned to put in the yearbook, but we scratched the idea. I already had about a week's worth of photos and I didn't want to give up on the idea so I plan to make a photo album on myspace with the pictures that I take everyday... hopefully one day I will be able to print them all out and make a scrapbook. I have a notebook where I write the captions for every day. We'll see how this project turns out.

Yearbook is my favorite class. It's a very good match for me. I love creating! Mrs. Ruyle decided I would be The Business Manager and also a Photo Editor. I'm so stoked for yearbook and our theme. We voted on a collage theme, which means we need a ton of photos. I've been taking my camera everywhere I go pretty much and charging my batteries about twice a week. I've been going to a lot of football games and getting some good shots. The Southwestern Journal has been using my photos for their sports section. They didn't credit me last week (which was kind of upsetting), but they assured me they will this week. If they fail I will probably stop sending photos. Here is a sample:



I've been spending a lot of time with my best friend. :)




For awhile I was afraid we were falling apart, but now I'm feeling pretty comfortable with our friendship. I love her; I love us. We dream and believe, and I think we are going to be everything we want sooner or later. Whatever we end up wanting, and however we get there. I have so much fun with her and my other friends. It's soo good to be young and in love with life.



and then there is the boyfriend:




He's most the the reason I've been going to so many football games. He has practice every single day after school, so our hang out time has been crunched to once or twice a week. That was hard at first, but I'm really comfortable with him and our relationship now. I feel like he wants it to work out as much as I do. He really is a great guy. I didn't know him all that well before we were dating, but he's quickly become one of my favorite people. I'm so defensive when people talk bad about him in anyway.

I will wrap this up.

All is well.

I'm excited to see what every day brings.

Tomorrow Starts

The first day of my last year in the place I feel the most secure in, but I'm excited to see what the year will bring.

There is a man.

He's standing right in front of you. He's holding everything you have ever wanted and ever will want. He's offering it to you with his arms in front of himself in your direction. He's tired of holding them all they're terribly heavy. He's waiting for you to look up and take them. Make the move.

Joe Vellella,

the best thing to happen to me since Megan Armentrout.

"I just started noticing people around me who were more liked then others, the people who do things that I was scared of"

"You're not comfortable with insecurity, you seem afraid to challenge it."

Make it happen

My best friend Megan and I have been working on taking our friend, Maranda's, senior photos. Here are some photos of the action.



I think I'm starting to realize that photography is what I want to do with my life more and more. I've never felt so comfortable and natural with any hobby. It's a great feeling. I don't think I've ever been quite as proud of my photos as I am now. Here is a sample..








Also, I am convinced that I should be writing and making music, and plan to try to make this happen.

Late Nights

I've been staying up until four and five in the morning lately. What have I been doing you may ask...lots. I think my creative spirit comes out the most at night. All the the photographs in this post were made last night at ungodly hours, and I'm quite proud of them :) I have been working with lots on the computer. I'm planning to become a more involved creator and artist. I have worked hard to update my DeviantART and Flickr accounts. I have really big dreams and I haven't been working as hard as I should be to achieve them. Almost a week ago I had a phone conversation with my friend Ben and he was talking about how people have dreams but they become stable where they are and talk themselves into believing that their dreams and unachieveable. He furthered it to say that he was sure not everyones dreams always came to be true, and then I got the thought maybe that if a persons dreams did not come true possibly they just didn't want them enough. I want my dreams to come true, and I will do everything in my power to assure that they do. After that, if they still fail to be, then I will rest assured knowing I did all I could. Really though, if you don't give your dreams a good honost try how do you know they won't work?

There are other things that I am doing differntly as well. I want to become closer to the ideal me. I've been practicing piano a lot more, and even scored two new piano books to play out of from my teacher. She also asked me to be in a senior recital, which I am excited about. I'm trying to find something easy enough that I am able to play but somewhat popular. I have also been drawing more and trying to write more on here. I'm reading again too! I finally finished a book, and a big one at that, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and then my friends and I all went to the midnight showing of the movie. Now I am about 30 pages into Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut. It's a very enjoyable read thus far. I think I'll read more when I get done with this post!

I also think I am dating one of the more marvelous men in existance. I feel like he helps and pushes me to achieve the things I want to. He tells me not to spend so much time on the comptuer! I need that! I'm getting off soon, promise! He's well thought out, laid back, and down for anything. He and I are extremely goofy and happy. Despite some slight distubances, I am extremely happy and care-free right now! I only wish to get out of the house more, and plan to do so, even if i'm not doing much of anything outside of the house. I feel like I have matured a lot over the summer with my thoughts, but remained true to the fun immaturity that everyone should have.

Until next time!

Tim Burton Themed Kitchen

(http://www.amazon.com)

(http://www.newburycomics.com)




I've had in mind that I want a Tim Burton/Nightmare Before Christmas themed kitchen for awhile now, but I find the idea kind of silly and I have no idea why I have it.
Regardless I'm still entertained with the idea and I just found the cutest things that I could use in it!

Best Friend

I haven't seen her in almost a week... but I miss her very much! I can't wait until she is off work! I'm going to visit her tonight. I think I'm even making her a care package of cookies and who knows what else. Blah I just miss her! <3 I want to hear about what is going on in her life and fill her in on mine and be creating memories with her.

Yesterday was Easter.

I woke up to the familiar sound of yelling. fighting. My dad had come home drunk at 2 the night before and made my sister get out of her bed so he could sleep there. Mom had awoken and found her sleeping in the floor. If theres one person in this world that I hate it's my father, and I've had a lot of people wrong me in my lifetime. I started feeling anxious; I wanted to say something but knew it could only make them more mad.

I sucked it up and went to church with my mom and sister. There were a lot of people there who did not attend regularly, but when the band started up I looked around and couldn't find one person not singing. Almost everyone was clapping along, some even dancing. They looked passionate. They were feeling something. They were in it.

I remember thinking if theres anyway to get a message across to someone it's by music.

The night before I had gone to a trivia night with some friends and kept feeling ignored. We can back to my house and watched a movie and I cheered up and talked to my boyfriend, and after everyone left I started listening to City and Colour.

I played the song waiting, not knowing it very well. I listened to the lyrics.

"All your friends seem like enemies when you're broken down and empty."

then I remembered a quote by Autumn De Wilde

"No human being can be there for you the way a record can. I mean your friends are your friends and that's great, that's amazing if you're having a hard time-and i clearly know about this and this point of my life-but nothing can compare to putting on a record and grieving silently, or conversely, celebrating personally."

Had you ever cried because you felt alive?

Feeling alive is a lot to feel. It's all we know we have, really. I know my life on Earth is going to end, and i hope to God that day is far, far away because I have so much I want to do and see and to experience and feel. I have so much more love to give and even pain to feel, and I want it all. I love my life, every single part of it. It's beautiful and amazing. I am terrified to know that one day it will cease. Sometimes I find it hard to imagine that Heaven could be any better than this. I am in love with my friends and my family and my boyfriend. I love falling asleep and waking up next to people that I love. I love my house, this small town, and my shitty car. I love the air outside and I love nature and all the beauty that it has to offer me. I love staying up late and falling asleep in class. I love thinking. I love not having answers. I love procrastionating. I love it, I live it. It's beautiful, and amazing. I'm speechless and out of breath.

LATE UPDATE

quotes that are significant lately:

"Nothing is easy, but don't you know nothing aint the easy way out?" The Whigs

"We don't want answers anyway" -The Helio Sequence

"Everywhere I go, damn there I am, and I just wanna walk away" Ben Folds

Yes I stole it, but i also co-wrote it!

Friday, March 13, 2009

"If you aren't in the prequel, then you can't be in the sequel!!"
Tonight was the best night I've had since December 23rd, 2006. And that was a pretty gosh darn good night.Quotes of the night:"...you're black.Niggawhaaaa??""And I'll do my little dance, and it will be like doot doot doot doot do doooooo, and Verity will cry""No! I'll get up and roundhouse kick her""I'm the only one that can have nude tattoos of... Oprah.""Well we've already done grafitti, might as well go to a club. JOHNNY VEGAS!""Umm, excuse me? Are you supposed to be out this late? Are you under the age of 18, because i got a call about some kids running with books.""I can get you some free water! It's clear... and pretty much like heaven.""I feel sorry for Candace and her parachute pants""I know why Megan agrees with him ;)""Uh Megan, I don't think you can fondle the cameras...""YOU GUYS ARE PANSIES, JUST BUY THE SPRAY PAINT!""Is this velvet?""Hey guys I'm really excited! Are you excited? I'm really excited.""We have to take you to our secret spot, put on the blindfold!""Shutup Josie, I hate you Megan, Hey Verity""I'm gonna take the big stall, hahaha.""Hey Look! Its Joe Its Joe Its Joe!!""Lalalalalala. Lalalalala. Lalalalalaaaalalaaalaalaaaaah. AND I SAID HEY! HEY! WHAT A WONDERFUL KIND OF DAY! WHERE WE CAN LEARN TO WALK AND PLAY! AND GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!""I look like an old woman.""UMMALEXWHATDIDYOUDOOO!!OMGMEGANISSOMAD!!!""*whispers* I pooped my pants.""*GROANS* oHHH MAAAN. Lettuce makes anything taste good.""I like redheads......""OMG RAPE!! JOSIE ROLL UP THE WINDOW!!Okay, so here's what went down. We had the best night of our lives. We cried, we laughed, we pooped our pants, we even did ILLEGAL stuff. (dont tell anybody, or our parents, and especially dont tell the zombies in the cemetary..)Me. (the...paranoid one)Verity.(the whah baby)Josie. (the superhero)Joe was there, but he didn't help write this, so he doesnt get a cool name. So blah...
Posted by Megan at 9:35 PM

Life is a battle

Of head vs. heart.
and I think the heart is the greater of the two.

Speech Class

Im in speech class,. Blog spot is not blocked. Adam is sitting next to me and says " merry christmas" hes obviously out of it. schools almost over. ho hum

The first real snow of the year...

Beyond the Bubble

Beyond the Bubble was a coffee shop in Grafton, Illinois. My friend Megan and I went to it a lot, we even took various people there various times. They had books, candles, soaps, games, coloring books, and what Megan and I considered the world's best smoothies. Anyway to get to the point last Saturday was their last day being in buisness, Megan and I went. It was kind of sad because we'd been there so much, and then I found a picture I had colored that reads: "Goodbye, matey! See you soon!" I thought it was cute. Ah, and I have been on the look out and I've found another coffee shop in Alton near my cousion Sam's house, maybe it will come close to living up to Beyond the Bubble.

Know No

"The only thing I am sure of is that I am not sure"
^ there is a quote from me from Thursday, July 03, 2008.



Today While I was reading Sophie's World in Philosophy class I read :
"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing." -Socrates

and also i found this:
"True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. "

The truth is none of us know anything and those who pretend to know everything know less than those of us who know that we do not.

the missing shoe

Megan invited me to go to wallmart with her tonight. We drive to Jerseyville and realise that megan is missing a shoe. She didnt want to go inside in her socks, so I let her borrow my shoes, which were actually hers because we had traded a few days before. So I went shopping without shoes. It was hilarious, and it felt a little liberating I must admit. : ]

I got in another argument with David last night. I'm done, and i think i mean it this time.

I'm tired of trying to be friends or even just on good terms with everyone that I know. I think i will start paying more attention to my feelings than what is "right" or "wrong".

The question now will be what is right or wrong FOR ME.

No more trying to please. I only need to please myself.

And I am off to a good start.

My friends are the best people in the world.