Between Bliss and Madness

Yesterday was Easter.

I woke up to the familiar sound of yelling. fighting. My dad had come home drunk at 2 the night before and made my sister get out of her bed so he could sleep there. Mom had awoken and found her sleeping in the floor. If theres one person in this world that I hate it's my father, and I've had a lot of people wrong me in my lifetime. I started feeling anxious; I wanted to say something but knew it could only make them more mad.

I sucked it up and went to church with my mom and sister. There were a lot of people there who did not attend regularly, but when the band started up I looked around and couldn't find one person not singing. Almost everyone was clapping along, some even dancing. They looked passionate. They were feeling something. They were in it.

I remember thinking if theres anyway to get a message across to someone it's by music.

The night before I had gone to a trivia night with some friends and kept feeling ignored. We can back to my house and watched a movie and I cheered up and talked to my boyfriend, and after everyone left I started listening to City and Colour.

I played the song waiting, not knowing it very well. I listened to the lyrics.

"All your friends seem like enemies when you're broken down and empty."

then I remembered a quote by Autumn De Wilde

"No human being can be there for you the way a record can. I mean your friends are your friends and that's great, that's amazing if you're having a hard time-and i clearly know about this and this point of my life-but nothing can compare to putting on a record and grieving silently, or conversely, celebrating personally."