Uncle Jesse!

My boyfriend's best friend just moved back into town. I think it is safe to say that we both had missed him quite a bit. Hanging out with Mr. Jesse is always fun and very interesting. Nick and I both get along with him so well I like to refer to us as an oreo cookie sandwhich... me being the cream filling, because I'm the shortest. Jesse and Nick are my two favorite manchildren, and quite possibly the biggest nerds I have ever met. Nick treated us all to chinese where we met people who hardly spoke English and kept asking "More!?" while pointing at our drinks. Then we stopped by Vintage Vinyl and then we went to Starclipper. They both left with handfuls of comics. I had to pry both Nick and Jesse away from one of the workers there because they were nerding out with him hardcore. It was a nice time and I'm glad Jesse is home.

I think it's about time

to quit this blog. I'm tired of it, I barley post anything and I feel like it's become a place where people can point fingers without dropping names, I've done it too, and I guess it could be said that I am doing it now, but my motive by withholding is trying to keep some fractured peaceful feelings as well as trying not to make a scene. When you write about people, even if you don't include their name it can be easily inferred who you are talking about, and I feel like that's happened to me more than once and I can recall at least one time of doing it myself. I don't want to take part in it anymore. If you have a problem with me or something I do, just talk to me, I'll be honest. That's how friendship works. I will probably check blogger occasionally, but I think I am done. I'll keep my tumblr accounts where I will write a little, but they will be primarily photo blogs. If you are angry with me talk to me. If you want to talk to me, talk to me on facebook, I love you all and I'm here.

Heritage Days

This month I wrote an article on Heritage Days at Lewis and Clark. It's on the front page! I took all the photos in the articles too. I can't wait for the issue to come out (it get's printed today). Heritage Days was really cool and fun so I thought I'd share my article and some pictures:


On September 25th and 26th Lewis and Clark took a step back in time. The campus was home to Heritage Days. Heritage Days is a living history festival designed take guest back in time to the 1700-1840 time period. This year marked the 31st celebration of this annual event.
Heritage days featured various sorts of crafts. Guest had the opportunity to make bows, much like the ones used by early settlers for hunting. There was also rug braiding and rugs available for sale, and presentations on natural dying. There were live cannon demonstrations and story telling, along with wood carving, and a voyager canoe.
Traditional food was also available. This included tasty treats such as turkey legs, corn in the husk, homemade soup, and pumpkin rolls.
All participants dressed in traditional clothing from the 1700s-1840s. Old dresses, military coats and trousers were plenty. Dancers preformed and period musicians played to help the guest get a feel for the time they had taken a step back into.
The event was held by Alton Heritage Days, Inc. They are a non-profit organization whose goal is to educate the public in the customs, manners, clothing, food, and tools used by the early settlers of the 1700-1840. They did just that participants and guest alike left with an exciting experience and better understanding of the life of an early settler.

Everything that changed had stayed the same

I probably like tumblr better because I'd rather not write blogs about all the bad things happening in my life, I just want to forget about them. Like my dad kicked me out of my house this weekend and took my house key and car key and told me to get out and not to come back, why? because he asked me what I was going to tell the lawyers when I saw them, my mom had to pick me up with bags in my hands and tears in my eyes. Then I found out she went out with the guy she was having an affair with and I think she was trying to keep it from me. I had a huge break down, and felt like I couldn't trust either of my parents and that I had nowhere to go. Ben and I left the apartment and came back and my mom told us she was calling the police because of some stuff my dad was texting her. So the cops showed up at our apartment. And all that was just Saturday.

My mom talked to me and we have more clear rules now. I told her what I didn't feel okay with her doing.
Uhm and all the bad things I thought my dad might be doing I found out were true, even the ones he got mad at me for telling people and told me he wasn't doing.

Note, Noted

To my active followers, Megan, Hannah, Kristen:

I do read most, if not all, of your blogs. I like to keep up with what is happening in your lives. I don't always have the time to reply and most often I just don't really know what to reply, I'm so open minded that I don't know what to tell you guys sometimes. Not only that but I see life as a constant ebb and flow, I believe the dark and light times kind of flow together, so if you are trying to get my attention with a certain mood and dark time you are in it's likely that I may not give it the attention that you want me to and not even realize, but I do follow and keep up with what you write. I hope it's not offensive that I don't reply often. I feel hurt if you feel like I don't care. The truth is I am going through a dark time too though, I broke down in tears almost every day last week. Ben and I even came across the conclusion that it would be beneficial for me to start seeing a counselor again. I keep getting upset because I feel like I should be being a better friend but I can barely deal with my life situation right now. I'm going through a monumental change and is tearing me apart. I feel like I should be helping you get through your problems but I cannot deal with my own, not only that but I feel like knowing about what is going on in my life makes you afraid to mention your problems. IF you are specifically trying to address me or really want me to reply to something contact me directly please and I will be much more likely to give you what you want. Not only that but my life is a whirlwind, I am almost always busy during the school year. I barley can find the time to do my homework. I'm still catching up on my math from last week. I have 3 assignments to go.

Please just note that I am probably in one of the darkest times of my life right now. I'm struggling with my family- being pulled between my parents, school- and all the stress it brings, money- not having a job and my parents are broke right now due to all that is going on I've been paying for a lot of my own things, conditioned behavior, living arrangements-moving into a two bedroom apartment for 3 people to live in, food- I've only been eating 1 or 2 meals a day because my dad is new to shopping and I don't have money to eat out, household chores, helping my sister and trying to get her mind off things, along with struggling with, depression, irrational thoughts, thoughts of self harm, denial, anxiety, and decision making. I don't think you can really understand because I try not to break down around you and I butter it up so that you don't have to worry about me sometimes. Ugh! and I hope I haven't made you worry now. I am going to start talking to a counselor, LCCC offers free counseling and Ben already got the information about it for me. Please just know that I am always here and I do care about you even when things get hard for me.

Non-Western Art

is really fascinating. I'm so happy to learn about other cultures and religions and the traditions that go with them. I feel educated with all the fear of Islam our country has right now and very against it because I know so much. I've so glad the Qur'an was not burned, I think that was such a stupid idea, there are millions of innocent Muslims that are very nice people, why offend them? And who ever won anyone over by burning their beliefs? I got so upset when I heard about the whole thing. Anyway. We are talking about Africa now and I just love the African artwork. The huge masquerades they have are so amazing. I got to see a real African mask dancer yesterday and he was so good, and so funny, not knowing American customs all that well. Look how big and impressive the masks they wear are:

My first article

= published = success.

I get paid on the 30th, and I have 3 articles next month.

Look at our pretty cover design!